The Days After Mom's Funeral

6/14/63-Written in my diary...
I went back to school today and tried to forget about mom but I just couldn't. People think we are going to split up the family and give some of the kids up for adoption. They are nuts! We are keeping every single one of them! (I didn't know it at the time that those kids would be better off being adopted)

It was a tough time for all of us, especially for me, since it was test time in school. I couldn't concentrate on any of my school work, after all that had happened. I failed most of my tests that year.

6/20/63-Written in my diary

Little Bernie came home from the hospital today! (That's the name we chose, or dad did. Bernard Alexander Miller. Alexander is my mother's maiden name). Boy! What a cute little thing he is! He has a lot of black hair too!
I keep thinking about when he gets bigger and he won't have a mother and all the little kids won't have one or probably even remember having a mother. They all think that mom will be coming back.

That was such a sad time in our lives. I hated seeing the little one's faces when they'd get up in the mornings and think mom was home.
Now we had a new baby to take care of. Aunt Ruthy brought over a little white bassinet. That's where Bernie stayed for a while. We kept him in my father's bedroom downstairs so he'd be warm. Since that room was right over the furnace, it was always warm. Us older girls took turns taking care of him and feeding him his bottle and changing his diapers.

6/21/63-Diary entry
Debby, Carol and Pam are coming down with the measles. They are coughing and act sick. I hope Bernie doesn't get them. Not right now anyways.

I can remember worrying that Bernie would catch measles too but he never did. By the 22nd the other three were breaking out with red spots. It was hard trying to take care of all those kids.

Aunt Dorothy handled all the money that was donated to our family. She wouldn't let my father touch it. She had paid for the funeral so she had the right to. She knew if he got his hands on it, he'd be spending it all in the bars. The neighbors and family had taken up a collection and we got over $1200. That was a lot of money! To us anyway.
Aunt Dorothy came down on the 23rd and took a few of us to the store for new sneakers. We also got a new screen for our bedroom. Never had one before and would just open the window. must have been lots of bugs in there..Ha!
We all got some new clothes and we got a new swing set for the little kids. Something to take their minds off other things. They really enjoyed that!
We did the best we could at that time. I and my two other sisters would give the little ones their baths and wash clothes. All we ever had was an old wringer washing machine. I can remember that water getting so dirty. We must have used the same water for every load. There were always sheets and blankets to wash because they all wet to bed. Their beds were a mess. I can remember the springs sticking out of the mattresses and as it got colder they used old coats for blankets.
My father was out all the time drinking. It was not too long before he was bringing bar hags home for the night. God, how we hated that. He'd make us take the baby upstairs in our cold room too, just so he wouldn't have to hear him cry. My father used to pin Bernie's shirt sleeves down to the sheet so he wouldn't suck his thumbs. That was so mean. As soon as our father would go out the door we'd hurry up and take the pins off and do exercises with his little arms. My Aunts were never allowed to take Bernie out of the house either. My father was afraid they'd never bring him back. So because of that the baby never got the shots he was supposed to get. At least that is the way I recall it. I don't ever remember going to a doctor with him. Maybe a health nurse came to the house instead. I Can't remember.